


The Drunken Fling

by demonic_slytherin



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Angel Dust - Freeform, Antichrist, Assassins, Brandon Rogers - Freeform, Crossover, Demons, Drugs, Fanfiction, Gay, Hazbin Hotel - Freeform, Hell, Helluva Boss - Freeform, Horses, Iced Coffee, LGBTQ, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Millie - Freeform, Murder, Satan - Freeform, Stolas - Freeform, Vivziepop, WAP, blangel, blitzo - Freeform, blitzy, hornydemons, imp, moxxie - Freeform, octavia - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29689575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonic_slytherin/pseuds/demonic_slytherin
Summary: After a fight with Stolas, Blitzo gets wasted and has a (seemingly) one night stand with, "None other than *gasp* Porn Actor, Angel Dust! What a juicy coincidence!"  After building a friendship, they make it their goal to get Stolas off Blitzo's ass with the help of his loyal steed and even Octavia. Lots of time spent together and unexpected feelings, Angel Dust and Blitzo's relationship could possibly become something more.
Relationships: Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)/Blitzo (Helluva Boss)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 22





	1. Poorly Drawn Winky Face

"How the fuck can you be so ignorant?!" Blitzo yelled.

"I'm being ignorant? I'm not the one over reacting!"

"I'm fucking done Stolas! Go and find someone else's dick to suck!" Blitzo speed into the strip club the two were in front of.

"Blitzo-!" Stolas started. He reached out his hand.

"THE 'O' IS SILENT YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT!!"

"Blitzy! Come on I'm sorry-"

"Save it you little cock sucker!" Blitzo slammed the club doors in his ex fuck-buddy's face. Stolas hung his head in a sigh and trudged home.

  
  
  


Blitzo, all alone and no one to talk to, was sitting at the bar drunk off his ass and yelling at the bartender for more vodka.

"Hey! Bar-bitch! Get your ass back over here and get me another drink!" His head dropped onto the counter and he fell asleep. 

"Hey! Hey, buddy! Get off the fucking table! You're drooling everywhere!" The barkeeper growled. "Can someone else deal with this guy? Please?"

"Leave me alone." Blitzo groaned. "It's been a long day." His head dropped back down. The bartender threw his arms up in annoyance and walked away, groaning.

  
  


Blitzo's vision was blurred from all the booze but from what he could make out was a tall, slender demon; not taller than Stolas but still tall nonetheless. "What's up suga'? Tough night?" The demon sat down leaning his head on his fist and crossing his legs.

"You have no fucking idea!" Blitzo sobbed.

"Yeah, that sucks. I'm Angel by the way. Wanna bang?"

"Hell yeah lets do it!"

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


"Holy fuck!" Blitzo woke up to a little pig licking his face. "Where am I?" He looked around a pink and white themed room. Angel rolled over next to Blitzo. He jumped out of bed. "Ah!" He yelled. He looked down at his own body to see that he wasn't wearing any clothes. "Ah!" He yelled again, waking up Angel.

"Morning." Angel smirked looking at Blitzo's waist.

He took a pillow from a love seat on his left and held it in front of his crotch. "Who the fuck are you?!"

"We met last night at the bar Shnukums. And I'm sure you can put together what happened afterwards~" Angel's eyes trailed up and down Blitzo making him feel even more uncomfortable.

"Um. Yeah, well I'm gonna go now. I have a business to run, some assholes to kill so- wait, where are my clothes?"

"Beats me." Angel shrugged. "Good luck looking for 'em." He gave a smug smile.

Blitzo let out a heavy sigh and pinched between his eyes. "You fucking cock sucker-"

"Correct." Angel interrupted.

"I- Give me my goddamn clothes back!!"

"Only if you can find them." He winked.

"This is bull shit, I'm out of here."

  
  
  
  


Blitzo walked out, ass naked into the street. There were people honking their car horns and whistling at him the whole way to work.

"Yo! put your dick away!" Some guy yelled.  
  


"Why don't you suck it, prude!"

"Sir, you're two hours late!" Moxxie's jaw fell open at the horrific sight of his boss completely nude in front of him. He quickly covered his eyes. "I- um- sir—"

"Don't even start with me Mox." 

"What's written on your arm?" Moxxie questioned.

"On my-? Is he fucking kidding me?" Blitzo looked down at his right arm to see a phone number and the name 'Angel Dust' with a poorly drawn winky-face underneath it. He slapped his forehead as he stomped into his office.

Moxxie didn't even bother to ask any further questions; he thought it would be best just not to know.


	2. Dem Gosh Darn Hillbillies

Five minutes, ten minutes, thirty minutes, two hours of just nothing. 

Utter boredom. 

Literally nothing to do. 

It was excruciating. 

Until there was a quiet knock at the office door and in steps Stolas Goetia with a guilty look on his face.

"Who the fuck let you in?!" Blitzo shouted while standing up from his chair.

"I just wanted to talk." Stolas took a few steps closer, reaching his hand out.

Blitzo slapped it away.

"You had your chance you bird bitch!" 

"I'm sure we can work this out Blitzy~" Stolas sat on his desk, crossing his legs. "Wait! What is that? On your arm."

Blitzo shoved his arm behind his back. "Nothing! It's none of your business!"

"So what is it, nothing or none of my business?" 

"It's nothing you cum collector!"

"It looked like a phone number.. are you seeing someone else Blitzy?!" He gasped.

"No, I am not! And we were never even seeing each other!"

"We could have! We could have been so much more!" Stolas sobbed.

"Alright, alright, that's enough. You're getting tears on my new carpet." Blitzo said as he pushed Stolas out of his office.

He closed the door behind him and let out a relieved sigh. 

After a few minutes of Blitzo contemplating all of his life choices the phone rings at the front desk. 

Loona was hungover from the night before so she skipped the day. As a result Millie was the day's receptionist; that of which she was very enthusiastic about.

"Immediate Murder Professionals, you hate em', we'll assassinate em'. Millie speaking."

Blitzo tiredly walked out of his office.

"Well fuck, since when do we have a slogan?" 

"Since today! I made it up about an hour ago." Millie beamed, looking pretty proud of herself.

Blitzo gave Millie encouraging finger guns.

"That's fucking genius."

She smiled. "Thanks sir!"

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


"Dem gosh darn hillbillies idn'd y'anto go up'ta Big win'er an' dem dickers won' ev'n squeet fix'n cause dem bitches were hirav!" Their Texan Client ranted. 

"I have no clue what he just said." Blitzo whispers to Moxxie.

"Me either. Just get the address of whoever we have to take out."

"Alright alright, I got it.” Blitzo began. “Ehem, Why don't you, slowly, tell us where these, uh, "hillbillies" live?"

"Uhh.. D'ey live in a barn up in Tex's."

Blitzo's eyes lit up.

"A-a barn?! S-so does that mean there are horses?!"

"It's fuckin' Tex's, e'rybody got horses there!"

A high pitched gasp of joy left Blitzo's mouth; it was ungodly. But then again they are in hell.

He heard a buzzing in his pocket. 

He took out his phone and slapped his forehead when he read the screen.

"Heh heh, excuse me." Blitzo stepped off to the side. "The fuck do you want Stolas?"

"I was hoping to have a chat~"

"And _I_ was hoping you could take a hint dumb ass!"

"Why don't you just give me a chance?!" Stolas cried.

"WHY DON'T **_YOU_ ** JUST THROW YOURSELF OFF OF A FUCKING CLIFF!!” Blitzo hung up the phone and jumped back into the (difficult) conversation.

"Ehem, sorry about that.. Anyway, back to what we were saying before. We'll get right on killing those.. uh.. thing you said before."

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


"Alright Mox, you've fucked up literally every mission we've ever been on so yeah, don't fuck up this time."

Moxxie made a straight face. "Will do boss."

"Don't worry Moxxie! I believe in you!" Millie smiled and hugged him. 

No more than five seconds later Blitzo was in on the hug too. "Aww you guys are so adorable!!"

"Um, yeah. Thanks sir." Mox rubbed his arm awkwardly.

"Okay team, let's get our shit together because you are not, I repeat **_not_ **embarrassing me in front of the horses!" Blitzo instructed, subtly gesturing to Moxxie in particular. Mox crossed his arms in annoyance and followed his boss to a stable.

"Uhm, why don't you take this one Mills? I'll, uh, scope out the stables."

Millie cheered.

"Oh come on, you're not going to "scope out the stables", you just needed an excuse to play with the horses!" Moxxie pointed out.

"You are absolutely correct. Boop." Blitzo tapped Moxxie's nose and ran off.

Mox sighed and pinched between his eyes.

"Don't look so down sweetie! We're in charge today! It'll be fun, trust me!"

  
  
  


* * * 

  
  


Just as Blitzo was about to pet a large multi-colored horse apparently named Bandit, (that was a stupid name.) he was interrupted by his phone ringing. 

Again the name Stolas popped up. 

Blitzo groaned.

"What is it this time?"

"I was wondering if you were free tonight.. I could make us a nice dinner. 

And then afterwards we can have... "dessert~"."

Blitzo shuttered in disgust. "No, nope. Not free. I- uh, have plans with... someone."

"Oh.. I see... Your loss I suppose. We could have ****** and you'd **** on my feathery **** while you *** as I ***** my **** further up your ******* —!"

Blitzo hung up and launched his phone across the field. "Why? Why the fuck do I keep picking up?"

  
  


"Boss!!" Blitzo heard Moxxie yell. He turned to see Millie and Moxxie getting shot up by what was supposed to be their victims.

"Again Moxxie? You realize this happened twice already?!" He scolded.

"Sir! Now is not the time to be pointing fingers!" Moxxie yelled back. "What are we gonna do?!"

"I don't fucking know! Get on a horse and start shooting!"

"I've never ridden a horse before!" 

"Better figure it out quick then Mox!" Blitzo jumped on one of the stallions, taking out his gun.

Shots were fired left and right. You'd really think they'd be better at their jobs by now..

  
  


Finally the trio's targets were eliminated.

Walking back into the office, Moxxie and Millie tried not to meet Blitzo's eyes.

"This has been the worst day ever!! First I wake up in some random guy's bed, then Stolas just has to keep pissing me off, then the barista messes up my fucking coffee, our client is a complete dumb ass, we almost fail our mission, and worst of all I didn't even get to keep a horse in the process!" Blitzo cried.

Millie and Moxxie didn't really know what to do so they awkwardly patted him on the shoulders.

"Thanks guys." He smiled. "I gotta make a quick phone call then I'll start heading out."

  
  
  
  



	3. My Blitzy

Blitzo's phone kept going off the next morning. He was sound asleep so Angel Dust took the liberty of seeing who was messaging him so much.

_ Stolas: 14 missed calls _

_ Stolas: 69 missed messages  _

_ Stolas: Incoming Call~ _

The phone read. 

Angel picked up.

"What's up suga’ cakes?"

"Bli-! Who are  _ you _ ?! And what are you doing with my Blitzy's cell phone?"

"I'm Angel Dust, and  _ "your Blitzy"  _ is lying next to me; asleep after the wonderful time we had last night." Angie knew he was pissing the fuck off of Stolas and he was loving it.

"You- you-!" Stolas attempted angrily.

"Aww, trouble in paradise?" Angel teased, pretending to sound sincere. 

"That is absolutely none of your business!!"

"Oops, gotta go. My Blitzy is waking up." Angel mocked.

_ "Your _ Blitz-?!" 

Angel hung up before he could finish and started laughing.

Blitzo woke up and turned to see what he was laughing about. 

"What's so-? Why do you have my phone?"

"I didn't know you have a boyfriend." Angel snickered.

"Oh my fucking god! Do you mean Stolas?"

Angel nodded, still kind of laughing.

"That dipshit won't leave me alone!  God, you hook up with a guy twelve times and he just has to assume you're in a relationship!"

"Ugh, I know how you feel. People think if you just have sex with someone it automatically makes you have romantic feelings for each other or something. What a load of crap." Angel added, lying back down.

  
  


Blitzo got up to put his clothes on and leave but Angie stopped him before he walked out.

"Hey, wanna piss off the _ "dipshit"  _ who won't leave you alone?"

"Yes! What are you thinking?" Blitzo asked enthusiastically.

"He already knows we spent the night together so let's make him think it's more than that."

"That'll be easy, he's always keeping tabs on my life.."

"Perfect. You're gonna be my little bitch for the next few days." Angel smirked.

Blitzo opened his mouth to object but he was cut off.

"I'll walk you to work, babe." He winked.

"This is so weird."

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Angel Dust and Blitzo went to I.M.P together. Moxxie looked up at the two in confusion.  "You.. look really familiar.." He started. 

"Oh yeah?" Angle leaned in over the front desk where Moxxie was sitting.  "Where do you think you know me from?" He smirked, leaning his chin on his fist..

Moxxie obviously just realized who he was talking to; he visibly got very awkward.  "Are you Angel Dust?... The porn star?"

"The one and only."

"What're you doing here?" Moxxie asked.

"He's helping me with-"

Angel took Bitzo's hand. "I'm his boyfriend." He said, interrupting Blitzo.  "Right, babe?"

"Uh, yeah. Anyway, we're gonna go in here now." Blitzo gestured to his office.

The pair walked into the room and shut the door behind them.

"We can tell them we're not actually together, or at least Millie because Moxxie will probably slip up."

"But it'll be more fun if we're the only people who know." Angel replied.

Before Blitzo could agree or object the door opens up with Stolas standing in the doorway.

"Blitzy! Can we please just talk?" He begged.

"What the fuck, Stolas!" Blitzo yelled.

"That's him?" Angel whispered.  Blitzo nodded.

Stolas looked to Angel. "Who are  _ you _ ?"

"I'm Angel Dust. I believe we've spoken before."  He gave a sly grin, making Stolas even more agitated.

"You were the slut on the phone!"

"No shit Sherlock." 

"So you-" Stolas pointed to Blitzo. "And him- How could you do this to me?! I thought what we had was special!"

"Give it a rest! Holy shit, go piss off somebody else!"

"Come on Blitzy.. you don't mean that."

"Yes the fuck I do! Now walk your feathery ass out of my fucking office and crawl back to where you came from!"

Stolas opened his mouth to say something but Blitzo gave him a death glare so he gave up and walked out.

  
  


"See Blitzy, wasn't this a good idea?" 

"Don't call me Biltzy. And yeah, that was fucking hilarious."

"Well, it's been fun but I gotta head out.  But you're pretty cool we should actually hang out sometime. And it'll make our "relationship" more believable." Angel suggested.

"Yeah, I am pretty awesome. I'd wanna hang with me too."

"So you're in babe?" 

"Hell yeah!"

  
  
  



	4. Crappy Medieval Restaurant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna brag for a second that Brandon Rogers semi-knows of my existence! loll  
> so I commented on his post and then he liked and commented on that so yeah we're pretty much best friends now lmfao

"Hey boss, you uh... got a package.."

"Thanks Mills." Blitzo went to go see what it was, his mouth hung open when he came across an enormous box. "Holy shit!" There were noises coming from the box too. "What the fuck was that?!"

"Did that box just neigh?" Moxxie asked.

Blitzo quickly opened it up and he let out a high pitched gasp. "Holy crap! I- it's a horse! Where the fuck did this horse come from?!"

Moxxie took a few steps closer. "Does the package have a return address?"

Blitzo looked around the crate. "Nope. Anyways, what am I gonna name her?"

"Sir, you don't have the money or the room for a horse."

"No one asked for your opinion Moxxie."

"It's not an opinion, it's a literal fact!"

"That doesn't matter. So back to naming her, I have a pre-made list." Blitzo reaches into his pocket and takes out a crumpled up piece of paper. "Should I go with Stapler, Coupon 2.0, Paper Towel, Garage Door, Shoe, Flea, or Ghost?"

"Wha-? None of those! You can't own a horse!" 

"Watch me bitch!" Blitzo jumped onto the horse to be named later and galloped out of the building.

"We're fucked." Moxxie groaned.

  
  


* * *

  
  


A few hours later Blitzo and his horse, now named Coupon 2.0, got back to I.M.P.

"Finally! Where have you been?!" 

"Relax Mox, me and Coupon 2.0 just did a little bit of shopping. Look! I got new riding boots!"

Moxxie slapped his forehead. "All due respect sir, nobody cares! You can't keep the horse!"

"Her name is Coupon 2.0!" Blitzo corrected.

"Whatever it's name is! You have nowhere to put it!"

"She can sleep in my office! It's not that big of a deal!"

"Alright, fine! Keep the damn horse! Let's see how long this lasts!"

"We don't need this negativity! Come on Coupon, Let's go get an iced coffee." Blitzo shot Moxxie one last glare and left.

Millie put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "Just let him have his fun Moxxie, he's not hurtin' anyone." 

"I guess you're right... I just wish he'd be more responsible!"

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Where to next Coupon?" Coupon 2.0 didn't say anything but Blitzo answered her anyway. "Good idea! You know, I'm kind of over your name. Your new name is... Maxipad!"

Maxipad neighed in delight as if she was agreeing to her new name. "Aww I love you so much! Hey, wanna go meet my friend Angel?" Blitzo paused as if he could actually get an answer from her. "Of course you do! Let's go!"

  
  


Maxipad and Blitzo ran to the Hazbin Hotel, knocking into pedestrians on the side of the road every time they turned a corner. 

Rushing into the building they stopped short in front of Charlie, the princess of Hell. "Uh, Welcome to the Happy Hotel! Can I get you and, um, your horse a room?" 

"Sorry Princess, I'm actually looking for someone." Blitzo replied.

"Back so soon?" Angel's voice said from another room. He walked in, shocked because the large animal in the middle of the lobby. "What's with the horse?"

"This is, uhm.. Nail Polish." Blitzo answered. The horse, now named Nail Polish, neighed in agreement. "She came in the mail this morning!" He jumped off the horse.

"Ah, okay. What're you here for?" Angel asked, petting the horse. Charlie was petting her too.

"We're picking you up. Get on the horse bitch, we're going for a ride." 

"That's hot." Angel smirked.

Blitzo slapped his forehead. "That's not what I meant asshole!"

"Yeah, yeah I know." He hoisted himself onto Nail Polish and then winked at Blitzo.

"On ward!!" Blitzo yelled, lifting up his fist as if he was holding a sword.

"See ya Charlie!" Angel waved as the horse sped up out the door.

"Uh, bye.." Charlie answered looking dazed.

  
  
  


It was a pretty bumpy ride considering they were jumping over cars, dodging the meth heads, and knocking down baby strollers.

"Where are we going?" 

"I don't know.. A new medieval themed restaurant just opened up on the other side of town. The food's supposed to be really crappy so we should go complain about everything." Blitzo suggested.

"Hell yeah!"

"Then off-ith we go-ith good sir!" Blitzo replied in a really terrible old English accent.

"Ya!" He yelled, telling Nail Polish to go.

She understood and sprinted at full speed till she stopped short flinging Angel and Blitzo off of her.

"Well fuck me right in the asshole! That hurt like a bitch!" Blitzo complained loudly.

"Don't be a baby, Blitzy." Angel said, dusting off his shirt. "Come on, let's go." He held out his hand to help him up.

Blitzo took the hand and got up. "Please, please stop calling me Blitzy." He begged.

"Never." Angel smirked at the reaction he always got by calling Blitzo that.

  
  


They got a table close to the window just in case Stolas happened to walk by.

"Hey! This service is fucking awful!" Blitzo yelled.

"Sit the fuck down and be patient, holy crap!" One of the workers shot back.

  
  


After ordering and pissing off the waiters even more, their food came out; it was obviously half assed so it was a perfect time to complain again. "This food is shit!" Angel criticized.

"All the food here is shit, get used to it slut." The waiter retorted.

"Oh yeah? Why don't we take this to the back and I can show you how much of a slut I can be~" Angel winked. 

"Okay, that's it, get out of here if you're just gonna piss everyone off!"

"Fine you micro-dick jack offs!" Angel yelled. Blitzo gave him a look that he somehow knew what it meant. They both jumped onto Nail Polish and rode around the restaurant knocking over the food and running into people. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT!!" Someone who appeared to be the manager bellowed.

  
  


The two left, laughing their asses off. "That's was fucking hilarious." Angel cackled.

Blitzo looked as if he was about to piss himself until he felt a vibration in his pocket. As always, Stolas was calling. "God damn it, he's calling again!"

"Oo let me answer!" Angel urged.

"Haha alright." He handed over his phone.

"What's up suga' tits?" He provoked.

"Wha- Give the phone to Blitzy, Angel Dust!" Stolas ordered.

"Make me." Angel smiled sardonically.

"Just give it back to him!!" 

"Well no need to have an attitude." Angel passed the phone back to Blitzo.

"The fuck do you want this time Stolas?" He started in an annoyed tone.

"Ah, Blitzy! How I've missed you!" Stolas announced.

"Yeah well, can't say the same for you."

"Oh Blitzy, you're so funny!" He laughed.

"That wasn't a joke."

Stolas ignored his statement. "Did you receive my gift?" 

"What gift?" Blitzo asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Oh, nothing much, just a little something I picked up."

"Just answer the damn question Stolas!"

"I got you a horse, my little Imp!"

" _You_ got me the horse?!" Blitzo asked in shock.

"Of course I did! When I saw that there was a horse for sale I just had to get her for you!"

"Uh.. yeah.. well, thanks I guess.. but I can't be bought!" 

"Everyone can be bought Blitzy!" Stolas cheered. "It just depends on how expensive the person is. Come on Blitzy, the absence of your body grinding up against my **** until your ***** is too much for you to handle is driving me mad! I can't stop thinking about how you used to **** my **** as I~"

Blitzo hung up, he had genuine disgust and embarrassment written all over his face. "And that's enough of that!"

"What'd he say?" Angel asked eagerly.

"I- I don't wanna talk about it.." He answered, blushing. Angel laughed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's your favorite Helluva Boss episode so far?  
> Mine's C.H.E.R.U.B.


End file.
